11 Things I’m Terrible At, According to My Wife – Constructive Criticism for Self Improvement

11 Things I’m Terrible At, According to My Wife – Constructive Criticism for Self Improvement

Welcome back to the Gentleman’s Gazette!
In today’s video, we discuss….TS: Hey! I thought this is my video! SRS: In case you don’t know,
this is my lovely wife, Teresa, and she’s right! This is her video. TS: And today, I’m
going to have some fun and share with you 11 things that Raphael is terrible at. SRS:
Really?? Okay! SRS: Chances are you’ve never seen Teresa before unless you’ve watched
a table manners video. Teresa and I, we’re 50/50 business partners, not just in life
but also in the Gentleman’s Gazette and initially, when we started YouTube, she
was actually behind the camera and I was in front of the camera. These days,
things have changed a bit but if you look at our early videos, that was her
work. TS: So we all know that it’s easy to present ourselves as perfect online so… SRS: What are you talking about? TS: Yeah. So I thought who is better qualified to share
what Raphael is terrible at than me, his wife? SRS: My mom?! TS: Your mom, your mom’s not
here, so today, I’m going to share those 11 things with you
starting with speaking quietly. Raphael is terrible at speaking quietly. SRS: What do you
mean?? TS: We have this concept of indoor voice and outdoor voice and Raphael
always uses his outdoor voice. SRS: Except when we’re filming because Preston is
louder than I am. TS: That’s true! Preston is louder there so we’ll
get to Preston’s flaws in another video. SRS: Yeah! TS: So for example, if I come home and I
can hear shouting from across the house, I’m pretty sure Raphael’s talking on the
phone with his family. SRS: Yeah, I’m also half Brazilian so they talk loudly too and
my sister once proclaimed that we’re just a loud family. TS: She’s right! SRS: You’re
right! TS: The next thing that Raphael is terrible at is not interrupting and I
think you were probably not surprised that I’m saying that here and you will
be dutiful and not interrupting for the rest of this video but it is very much a
a family trait. His whole family talks loudly, they talk over each other
and if you want to get a word in edgewise, interrupting is your
only way to go. SRS: Yeah, Teresa definitely hates it when I interrupt her but it is
hard and I think gentlemen shouldn’t do that and we’ve covered it many times but
it’s definitely something that doesn’t come naturally to me. I’d be a lot more
aware but I’ll do my best. TS: Yeah, I know you do your best. I just tell
him I didn’t want to finish that sentence anyway and then he knows he has
interrupted. SRS: Yeah or sometimes she kind of pokes me in the thigh or in my chin… TS: No,
no. Your shin. SRS: Oh yes, shin. TS: I’m apparently more flexible than I thought. I’m gonna kick you in the
chin. SRS: But yeah, when she does it, I know what she means by it. TS: Exactly, exactly!
SRS: She basically brings out the best in me. TS: As an example of how Raphael struggles
not to interrupt people, just last night, we’re out with our whole
team, with Preston, with Chris, our videographer, and Chris is telling us
about his weekend plans and Raphael interrupts to tell us how bad his
cocktail was from earlier in the evening. SRS: I mean it was really bad. TS: It was really
bad! SRS: It was just I want a Manhattan and I
got like a bourbon with a vermouth but for some reason, I was thinking about
it and there was his conversation and I just chimed in interrupting everything and you guys were just looking at each other
like “what is he talking about?” TS: In addition to the interruption, yes! SRS: So
overall, definitely one of my skills to change topics without the other people
knowing about it. TS: The third thing that Raphael is terrible at is waiting in line. SRS:
What?? No. TS: Just in general, Raphael is not a very patient person when he feels like
his time can be spent better elsewhere which is pretty much everywhere you have
to wait in line. So waiting in line at the grocery store, he rolls his eyes, he
gets antsy, he says “oh this is stupid! they should open more checkout lanes”
It’s a full-body annoyance. SRS: I mean I guess you know it’s
good that helps or if you check out things. I
definitely look at the other lines, checkout lanes to figure out it
maybe faster there. TS: Yes, that is one thing, that is a skill that has come out of
this thing that you’re terrible at is that you are masterful at picking the
shortest line. SRS: Yeah, I think also in Germany, when you go to a grocery store,
it’s kind of national sport to be really really quick. People don’t waste time,
they don’t ask how you are versus here, there may be like 30 people behind you
and they’re taking all the sweet time in the world. TS: They’re asking about your
days. SRS: Exactly and then “oh wait a second, would you like a different food? Let
me go get it for you and then five minutes later, fifty more people are
behind them all annoyed and it’s still not checked out so. TS: And Raphael’s laying
on the floor kicking his feet. SRS: Exactly. I’d rather leave and go to instacart
instead or something. TS: So a great example of Raphael’s inability to wait in line
for something was when we were in Seattle, a few years ago, and we were going to go up in
the Space Needle. We got tickets for later in the day and you couldn’t bear
to wait. SRS: Yeah. It was like they give you a ticket and you have to buy it there and
it’s like three hours out but we wanted to take photos and by the time we were
going up there, the sun would have been down so I just talked to the guy and
said “hey, you know, we came here all the way from Germany.” TS: You may have laid the
accent on a little thick. SRS: Maybe but at the same time, Teresa, she was so
embarrassed she told “No, we can’t go up there because it says we have to go at
that time” TS: I was hiding. SRS: She was so embarassed that she was moving
away like at least like thirty yards and just looking at it and so when I was
talking to him and which is pretty friendly, he was like, he said “Okay. I can guys let you in.”
and then we all went up there so I’m always trying to work the system, I don’t
take a no for an answer. TS: No, that’s true and that, here is me
interrupting, by the way, but that benefits you in many ways
in fact, even though Raphael can’t wait in line, his persistent badgering actually
enables some of these delightful flaws that you have and in this case, we were
all rewarded when you managed to get us a headline. The fourth thing
Raphael is terrible at is empathy. Raphael is a very independent, self determined
person and it’s not exactly a skill of his to be able to put himself in other
people’s shoes. SRS: I think I’ve definitely gotten better at it. TS: That’s true. SRS: And we
do these personality tests… TS: Two percent is better than zero.
SRS: Well, according to the personality test, I think it’s a little higher but I agree, Teresa is
a very empathetic person who has very good social antennas and while I’m
trying to get better at it, she’s ways ahead of me. TS: But I think
that’s just plays to our natural strengths, right? That’s not what you’re
good at, it’s what I’m good at so we work in our business together in a way that
works out. SRS: At the same time, I think you need to have like a
minimum level because otherwise, you are just perceived as a **** who doesn’t care about
others and that’s just not what a gentleman should be about, right? TS: Right!
The fifth thing that Raphael is terrible at is actually very similar to the
previous one in that he is terrible at managing people which is very
interesting for a CEO of a company. We have 12 employees who work for us all
over the world and we have to manage them all in some way. SRS: Yeah and I mean, you
know, in reality, right? We got to a certain point but then I realized… TS: Just by you
alone, that is true. We got almost exactly to where we are today with you
managing people but in general, you like to do your work and you like people to
leave you alone so that you can get to all of the things that are on your plate
as a CEO. SRS: Exactly. It’s part of the growth. I realized that I just or I mean it’s a
multi-step process, right? At first, I realized I can’t do it all myself so I
need to hire other people but ideally, I would just like to tell them what to do,
not micromanage them, and just let this go. That also means I’m not going to kind
of give them a review or show them how they work is meaningful which, down the
line, is just not really helpful. Now, if you were a lot better at that and so we
just figured while if I’m not good at it and you’re good at that, let’s transfer all of
that your way so I’m happier, I can do what I’m good at and you can do what
you’re good at and you like it a lot better too, right? TS: I do. I like it a lot
better and as you can tell, I I clearly wrote the
script so that Raphael can tell me all the things that I’m good at. The sixth
thing that Raphael is terrible at is saying the positive, as well as the
negative. So he comes from Germany and in Germany, they do tend to be a bit more
direct about the negative things in life but sometimes, that’s hard when you’re
not also getting the positives as well as the negatives. SRS: Yeah,
in Germany, usually don’t get the compliment right away versus
here is like sometimes when we call my my parents they are like
“oh what happened to you? you look sick, did you gain a little weight?”
and Teresa’s just there like “What are you talking about it?” And I am like, they do not mean it that way. They just
notice it and just share it. TS: Right. Raphael is fiercely independent and that
means he doesn’t really need the encouragement and praise of other people
so it’s really not in your nature to offer it. The flip side is a lot of
people come to you for a truly unsugar coated opinion. SRS: Yeah, I think I’m not someone who
just gives out praise very easily unless I truly think it’s warranted. So for some
people that means they feel like I’m pointing out more than negatives and I’m
less touchy-feely, I’m more matter-of-factly but they value
this opinion. When all the other people say “oh that’s amazing ,it’s great.” I’m
more like “How is that going to make money? TS: Exactly. Very matter of fact. The 7th thing that
Raphael is terrible at is keeping his opinions to himself. If Raphael has an
opinion, he’s going to share it whether you want to hear it or not. SRS:
Yeah, I’m a talker, I guess. I definitely feel that I’m constraining myself
sometimes. I know it may not seem like it to you but I definitely have
opinions, I’m not afraid of conflict or sharing them. I would say, in general, I am very talkative so yeah, I’ll let you know what I think. TS:
Exactly, exactly. To the extent that I’m happy to actually hide behind you in
certain conflicted situations because you handle it so well. So a great
example of this is we were once at a hat store and the salesman at this
haberdashery was showing you a hat from Dobbs and he claimed that this was one
of the best hats in the world. SRS: No. He said “the best hat in the world” TS: To which you promptly replied… SRS: “No, they are absolutely not
the best hats in the world. TS: And the horrified look on this man’s face, I will
never forget and this is a perfect example of the polite thing would have
been not to say anything but Raphael is definitely going to tell you what he
thinks. SRS: Exactly and I could have backed it up. He was just trying to make
a bold statement not expecting me to know about different felt qualities but
yeah, in those cases, I definitely share my opinion. TS: Right, right. The lesson here
is, generally, not to challenge you on your menswear knowledge
because nothing will probably win. The eighth thing that Raphael is terrible at is
caring about what other people think. SRS: Wait a minute, isn’t it a good thing? TS: It
can be a good thing, it can be a bad thing. I think for YouTube, it’s a great
thing because it means you’re just Teflon when it comes to all the
different comments that come along but for example, once when we were dating, he
asked me if he should tuck his shirt in, I told him he shouldn’t tuck his shirt
in… SRS: And I promptly tucked it in. TS: Exactly.
SRS: Probably at the time, it just felt it was better. I mean it was stupid of me to ask
you for the opinion when I had my agenda anyways and I think I’ve gotten better
over time but yeah, if you ask someone to do something and they give
you an answer and you disregard it, I mean, there’s not many ways you can make
that other person feel more superfluous, right? The ninth thing that Raphael is
terrible at is leaving enough time to get dressed. Now… SRS: Wait… TS: Yes, yes, yes! Now, I
like to be on time for things. Raffy doesn’t care so much about that but you
would think that a man who loves fashion as much as he does would enjoy a long
leisurely process of getting dressed but I would say a good 95 percent of the
time, it is just not true. SRS: Yeah. The funny thing is, though, with Teresa, it’s like
when you’re getting ready, right? It’s like someone gets ready and you know,
everything takes a lot more time, so when I’m ready,
I don’t just sit there and wait for her, I’ll do something else and then when she
gets ready, she’s like “I’m ready” and says like “I’m waiting for you” so I guess,
we’re both late sometimes. I agree with you, I’m not someone who spends two
hours getting dressed. I sometimes put outfits together very quickly. TS: And
that means that they’re from the top of the pile. SRS: That can happen. Absolutely. That
being said, I always try to come up with unique combinations, I have all the ties
right there… TS: And that’s something you’re really good at even on short notice but
I just think it would surprise people to know that if you have five minutes,
you’ll leave five minutes to get dressed. SRS: Yeah and Teresa’s
American, right? So sometimes, there’s a tendency of slightly over exaggerating. TS: Cos Germans
are just the truth-tellers of the world. TS: The tenth thing that Raphael is terrible
at is following rules or instructions created by somebody else. So it could be
a recipe, it could be assembly instructions, I think that you think you
can do things a little bit better. SRS: Well, I think you’re right when it comes
to rules, I’m not a “we will follower”. I’ll try to game the system and figure
out a way to do it differently that’s maybe within the rules but not the way it was
intended to be. On the other hand, I can put IKEA furniture together quickly, I
can follow recipes and do it pretty well. I mean it’s nothing like our friend,
Michael, for example. TS: I’m sure he’s going to enjoy the shoutout. Michael you suck at
putting together IKEA furniture. The eleventh and final thing that Raphael is terrible at
is throwing anything away from his wardrobe. SRS: I agree. As you could imagine,
Raphael’s wardrobe is a precious curated thing for him and it is next to
impossible for you to throw something away. And as Exhibit A, I have a more than
ten year old shirt here from Siniscalchi which I know you love that you
can see that this is falling apart on the
collar, on the cuffs, it’s got stains, it’s just shredded but
yeah, it was still in your closet. SRS: That
being said, specifically with shirts, for example, Francesco Barberis Canonico, he
wears these kind of shirts with his suits and he has lots of money, he
doesn’t need that. Now, I’m not quite that far when shirts are in that state, I
don’t wear them with my suit or with my jacket but I still
keep them and yeah, I agree. I’m not good at throwing anything away and I purge things
every once in a while. Socks or underwear even shirts… TS: By that he means once every 10 years. SRS: Well maybe a little more often but if I throw
this away, I’d actually, I’d save the buttons because they’re nice
mother-of-pearl buttons. TS: And I knew that’s what you’re gonna tell me,
don’t throw it away, I want to cut the buttons off. SRS: Exactly or sometimes I know
that the cotton on the body is so good, you can use it for shoe shining but in
general, like I’m not a wasteful person so keeping things and trying to make the
most out of it, it is definitely something and in our basement, we have these
old pipes that were insulated with asbestos and I actually used some of
the old shirts to wrap everything so it wouldn’t kind of blow up. So yeah, we
repurpose those old shirts in some ways. TS: Raphael is really good at finding
the most obscure possible justification for keeping things in his wardrobe. So
in case you need to insulate your asbestos pipes,
send us an email and we’ll send you some old shirts. SRS: You’re not going to throw it away, are you?

100 thoughts on “11 Things I’m Terrible At, According to My Wife – Constructive Criticism for Self Improvement

  1. There is a saying that there is always at least one person in the world that is perfect for you. The two of you look like an ideal match.

  2. Teresa reminds me of Cinderella's godmother, kind and strict. But Cinderella was from a family of aristocrats, albeit impoverished, so she would easily pass Teresa all the exams as a lady and as a gentleman:)

  3. Thank you for this video. I need to work on some of these things, too. I agree with Raphael about the dress shirt, Teresa. Since the shirt has nicer buttons, I would save them. You never know when you'll need spare buttons. You might want to set up a button box.

  4. In Russia, very small is used of what is called a "small talk" in England. We really have a lot of gloomy and unfriendly people. But friendly people are always welcome, politeness and good mood help me a lot, for example, sellers give discounts in boutiques:)))

  5. It is very correct to monitor clothes and get rid of one that has lost its appeal and gloss. I don’t know how things are going with the poor people in England, but I wash all unnecessary clothes and donate them to charity shops and charitable foundations. In St. Petersburg last year, about a thousand people died on the streets from the cold. This is a big problem for our country, despite the fact that Moscow and St. Petersburg are the two largest cities in Russia and the population lives more prosperously than in Siberia or other regions. Therefore, do not throw your tired clothes in the trash! It can help people who need help.

  6. Both are talking loudly. Teresa should really check herself before judging her husband (or others).

    Anyway, great video from GG as always.

  7. The picture in the background made me smile as many years ago I worked a few doors up from Austin Reeds Regents Street store…. happy days….

  8. He is less touchy-feely and more matter of factly
    On point, Raphael.
    Do Americans actually know that their touchy-feely behavior is widely regarded as highly superficial?

  9. From a German family too and my wife is going to love this video. Or maybe I won't show her she has support from your wife..

  10. A lot of young men believe the perfect partner will love every single aspect no questions. This is definitely not the truth. A good partner will acknowledge flaws and help you improve to make you a better person and hopefully more aware of how you may make others feel who may not have the courage to bring it to your attention. (Disclaimer: There's a fine like between acknowledgement of flaws and focusing on nothing but flaws. Know the difference.)

  11. Hi guys, I got to discover your videos just recently, but I think you do a great job on men’s classic style and I know this isn’t related to the video’s subject, but honestly i’m not sure who else to ask, so heading to the point of this comment, could you guys do a video about how to wear a pocket watch? I recently recieved one as a gift but I have no idea how to wear one, thanks for your remarkable job

  12. I had an accounting teacher who said people need to be as picky with their business partners as their marriage partners. I take it you agree?

  13. Your channel is great.
    Please start by putting an Arabic translation of words so that we can interact more and benefit more
    That would be nice of you.
    Thank you so much.

  14. Kinda interesting that the man who says a lot about being polite and not interrupting others does that constantly. Gotta love the irony.
    Btw, we have the same system with the queues in Finland; better early than an hour later; no need to get the milk sour.

  15. Do you think you may produce a hardcover book (not an ebook), containing all of your classic menswear knowledge?

    Might we expect to see a physical book of your current ebooks, in the near future?

    Thank you.

  16. Did anyone notice how his lovely wife interrupted him multiple times throughout the video. I thought this very similar to my wife.

  17. I could make a video about all the things i'm terrible at according to my wife, but the video would be 20 hours long

  18. This video is an excellent dimension to this channel. I like how it makes the fellow man so much more relatable and humanized. Thank you for this brave act.

  19. That was awesome to see the two of you on screen , but I am with you on finding shorter line ups, I'am terrible at waiting in line. lol

  20. This was a great video to watch. Hilarious parts but yet subtle. I can see you both have a great relationship that we should all have.
    I enjoyed the honesty throughout the video.

  21. “Waiting in line…” I hate it Soooo much! I want all the time I’ve wasted waiting in line back at the end of my life!!!!!

  22. Raphael acted like a scary kid on parents day,sat very carefully just in case his wife would have debunked something bad he did

  23. @4:06 They should open more checkout lanes. You know why they won't? Because they know you'll stand there and wait. They know you love your stuff more than being impatient. You prove this to be true by waiting in line.

  24. 80% of women initiate divorce. If your not good enough for her, tell her to get lost! A real man doesn't change for a woman, he be's himself. Thats MGTOW-101, Bro.

  25. Happy wife, happy life, free from strife. Thank you, both! Sadly, I feel I need to workREALLYhard on each of R’s bad habits!

  26. Thanks for crediting her for her job!!! It shows some class and style. Big fan of everything you two have done. I often read the blog just to get a hint of how cloths should be in quality and style. Often as difficult as it is rewarding as it is directed towards men. I just bought my first real high end dress shoe, circular wool flannel pants, real wool coat, shirts you name it. Why don’t she start a column just for women with same style and same high level quality. Focusing on feel of the cloths and how they empower me has been so rewarding and completely different from what I have been thought to do by society- hello high heels urg

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