♪ Feel, feel, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel it, it, feel it ♪ (singer laughing) Look it’s raining out. I haven’t given you an After Show in like two weeks, I felt bad. Kai you tried to trip me. No, you tried to trip me. No, I didn’t.
You did that on purpose. No ma’am. Yes you did. No ma’am, sorry. Yeah. He pulled the string, and I almost fell down. Good morning. Bernie, the last thing I wanna do is leave the house. Okay. But. You do it anyway. As long as I can get a piece of steak. A steak? Now watch us go and it be rubber chicken. (Bernie laughing)
It’s okay, it’s for a good cause.
It’s gonna happen. It’s for charity. It’s all good. Bernie’s my date tonight. It’s all good. Yep, Operation Backpack. It’s for the kids. And they’re having a big gala. Thank you boss. Bye Brendan. See you tomorrow, nice job today. Mills didn’t show up, did he? Nope, faulty friend. Do you know what I have? So, we’re doing an After Show, cause the After Show’s supposed to connect with the actual show. So if you don’t watch the actual show, then you have no idea what this means to me. Uh huh, yep Jessica. And I’m taking it home. This was actually just in my office sitting over there. Because I honor this. Caroll Spinney, he did this for me in 2012, Big Bird. He did this for me and brought it in here, and we talked, and I didn’t, anyway. You gotta watch the full show to understand what I’m talking about. All right, so what’s the business? (sighs) Oh boy. I’m not a fan of this outfit. (clears throat) I mean, I know it’s pretty and everything, but maybe. Oh boy. When I came in (laughs) this was all so clean. Now it’s a mess again. I shouldn’t complain. It’s so nice having a show, get to take everything home. This jacket is really good. Look at the ruffles at the bottom. I’m trendy at Wendy. This is really good. The thing about bubble coats is they’re really, really aerodynamic these days. Jessica, are you old enough to understand? Yeah, back in the day like they used to be so puffy. You could barely fit into the car. Yeah, man. Like this is really good, and super warm. Look at this one. This one here, this is a full one. This is mine. It’s from Norma Kamali. And I’ve been buying her sleeping bag coats, gee, since before maybe around college time. But they were puffy, and you could barely fit in the car. This one right here, look, you ball this up, they never wrinkle. And it’s warm as anything. (sighs) Yeah, that’s a good jacket. If you go to https://www.wendyshow.com, you can see what you can get for really deep discounts, if you’re Christmas shopping. I am so glad that I don’t have one thing to buy for Christmas this year. (sighs) There are no more kids in our family, so there’s no toys. You know electronics, leave me alone. My sister hosted Thanksgiving, I was telling you this, and I’m hosting Christmas, but in Miami. And I said if I’m hosting Christmas, here are the rules. Cause my sister set rules for Thanksgiving, and I like it. I like it. We ate off of plastic plates that you throw away. Plastic spoons, and knives, and forks. But the ones that look like China. Drank out of plastic cups, but like the classy ones. Throw all that mess away. She served everything in the tins. Put everything in the chafing dish. And she got just enough food for everybody. A little tiny bit of leftovers. Take ’em with you, or we’re throwing this away. It was done Thanksgiving, so easy. It was just so good. And nobody complained, even my mother. Nobody complained, and by the way, nobody cooked, at her house. My sister goes, “If you cook, “you clean the oven. “If you bring something “in a hard dish, “wash it, or take it with you.” That’s it, and it was really good. I mean, she had jugs of lemonade, you know, bottle water. And it was just real, clean and simple. A good old time. Nobody was dressed fancy. And I said, “That’s really beautiful, Wanda.” You know, before we were planning. And so I said, and for Christmas when I host it, here are the rules. No gifts, I don’t want a gift. I’m not giving gifts. I’m not sending gifts. I’m not doing a thing. We’re all grown. It’s been a hell of a year for all of us. My mom and dad are now in their 80s. You know I’ve had a year from hell. You know my son’s doing really well. We’re doing well, as a family. And we all still have each other. We’re doing well, like your family, under circumstances. And all I wanna do is sit around, in whatever you wanna wear. Watch TV. I got a suite with a bunch of TVs, and a bunch of room. And Daddy, if you wanna watch football, I don’t have to be trapped in football. Go over there. Kevin, if you wanna play Xbox with your cousins, and you wanna bring friends, go over there. Come on Mommy, come on Wanda, come on girls, let’s go watch Lifetime or whatever. Which I can’t really watch TV with my mother, cause you know like most older people, all they do is talk. Anyway, and there’s a pool. Private for us. I’m going out to the pool. I’m gonna sit around the pool, yep. A one-piece though, you know, family and stuff, body critical. Pool and all that stuff. And what are we gonna eat? Everyone pull out the menu for room service. What are we gonna have to eat? I’m not playin’. I might want a Cuban sandwich, fries, a piece of cheesecake. My father might want a turkey burger. Yeah, like what are you serious? Open up the mini bar, and see what kind of juice is in there. No, everybody understands the rules. And then afterwards, room service bring it all in. There’s gonna be a piano in the suite. They told me that. I was like, “I don’t want “a stranger in there. “I don’t want a piano player.” They said, “No, it’s one of those pianos “you know, where you set it. “Like a big baby grand, “where you set it.” You know, they have those now, uh huh. Push select, no stranger. Even the keys run while it’s going on. It’s so weird to watch. Like there’s a ghost playing the piano. Like, what the Barry Manilow is not here, is going on? (Wendy laughing) Yep, yep. And then, there’s a formal dining room table. So we’re not sitting on… What you call those snack tray things, or anything like that. It’s gonna be delightful. Everybody come over to the suite by two. Everybody get out by seven. I think that’s enough time. Even if they don’t get out, I can always go to my room, slam the door, and watch TV. Or, go at the pool. Tell you what though. Private pool, makes for a little skinny dipping, once everybody leaves. (Wendy laughs) Yeah. But what do I wanna talk to you about? Nothing, I’ve got a gala tonight for Operation Backpack. I was telling you that. So I really have to go, cause right now I have to pick up Chit Chat and My Way. They didn’t come with me. They’ll never come with me. Those girls are unruly. Yeah, my enlightenment about them is that they love being home with me. And that is it. And I love that they’ve gotten so adjusted to the apartment. And me, and the way we do things. And it’s weird… Wherever I am, they come on. Not under foot, but. Like I can be, you know, in the kitchen, making a sandwich, or something like that. And all of a sudden they slink in. But they only give me like 15 seconds, before I see them gently come down. And then they start playing around in the area there. And then, when I bring my sandwich upstairs, they come upstairs. And then I sit on my bed. But they know that I have food. So now they’re trained, they did this themselves. I mean, maybe I trained them. Cause I do enough that, “Get outta here! “Get outta here.” So when they see me, you know bring the food, I’m eating in the bed, they know. And so, they’ll be over there. You know laying, or whatever they do. Or out there, something like that. And then once I’m finished, I always (exhales loudly) well, it’s too much walkin’. Like I have an upstairs, downstairs, so I’m not gonna go back downstairs, cause I’m lazy, right. But I can’t leave the food, you know the bones, or whatever I have, the crust. (laughs) I can’t leave it over there on a table anymore, cause I’ve got them. Always sniffing around, “What’s Mom eatin’?” “Chit Chat, what’s Mom eatin’? “Come here.” I’ve fallen asleep before, I learned my lesson. I fell asleep, woke up, and I see a bone on the floor. (Wendy laughing) Tell tale signs that they had a little snack. So now, I have a specific drawer, where when I’m lazy, I don’t wanna go downstairs, I’m puttin’ the stuff in there. Just it’s me, okay. I put it in the drawer, and close the drawer. So they can’t mess around. It’s weird when you have animals, how life changes. Jessica, do you eat in the bed? No. Do you have animals? I don’t. You don’t eat in the bed then? Only because…
You better start. I don’t like crumbs. I do. (Jessica laughs) I mean, you don’t drop crumbs. Like when I make a sandwich, the plate is big enough. Do you eat like a slob? I mean, I eat like a slob, but always over a plate. Right, so it’s like over the plate. But then sometimes it’s inevitable. And then I’m just like, crumbs they make me crazy. I mean, I joke about finding up with rice in the bed, and crumbs, and stuff like that. But really, that’s not how I operate. I mean, I eat like a slob. But, I am very, very clean with every place I’ve ever lived. This place is no exception. I’m clean with the cats. I’m clean with the food. And the whole bit. I play, barbecue sauce in the bed, and no. Who the hell’s eatin’ like that? And now livin’ in an apartment. Roaches, and rats, and stuff. I don’t have ’em, but you know. You don’t wanna start. Then again, I got the cats to take care of that. But you don’t wanna start. Yeah, you don’t wanna start that dirty, dirty habit. When my son comes there are crumbs on his bed. I mean, he’s just a mess. Fortunately, he only visits. But anyway. So I have to go pick them up. Then I’ll go home with them, they’ll be so happy to be there. I normally give them shrimp when they come home, but there are no more in the freezer. And I am not stopping anywhere today. It’s raining all day. Raining tomorrow, raining Wednesday, snow intermittently. Sun’s not gonna shine till Thursday, but it’s also supposed to be the coldest day of the week. We are winding down season 11. I’m very excited. Really excited. I’m supposed to be going away. Other than Miami for Christmas, but I don’t feel like going anywhere. I really don’t. We have two weeks off. I’m gonna be there, and then to stay home. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not even going to mall. I’m not leaving the house. I think for one week I will stay in the house. I’m not going to the club. I’m not going to the movies. I’m not going to the grocery store, no. That sounds like a dream. Yeah, like I might have people in, but I don’t even know about that. And I’ve got no projects at home. There’s nothing to clean. Nothing, just what am I gonna do? Nothing. It’s my favorite. I don’t understand when people just can’t sit the hell down. Me and Merrell, were talking about that this morning, when he was doing my makeup. We’re off for two weeks. He’s going nowhere for two weeks. I said, “Isn’t it crazy “how people don’t like that?” He said, “I don’t know why.” I said, “Are you gonna have people in?” He said, “Probably not.” I said, “Will you go up the block, “for brunch, Sunday brunch?” He said, “No.” He said he’s gonna order everything in. Merrell does like to cook, though. So he get involved with his cooking projects. I don’t even care about that. My oven and stove are decor. Those days are over. Yeah. I guess you know when you have a busy, full life, sitting home, watching TV, watching the day go by. I’ve always been a home body. So even when I didn’t have a full life. Even when I was in high school, junior high, whatever. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. No place like home. And on that note. Okay, it’s only 11:30. I got a couple of meetings in here. I gotta change into my clothes, and talk with people. And then I’m on my way to pick up Chit Chat and My Way. (laughs) I love you for watching the After Show. And I’ll see ya next time. ♪ Feel, feel, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel, feel it, it ♪ ♪ Feel it, whew ♪