Harvard University 2019: Sex, Mormons and Net Worth

Harvard University 2019: Sex, Mormons and Net Worth


DO HAVARD STUDENTS HAVE SEX IN MONEY? WELL, WE ARE ALL MORMONS SO LIKE YOU ARE PROBABLY ASKING LIKE THE WORST GROUP OF PEOPLE. HEY, IT’S CONNOR MALBEUF AND IM AT HARVARD
UNIVERSITY TODAY TO TRY TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH TUITION IS AND HOW MUCH SEX THEY HAVE. TAKE
A LOOK. DO PEOPLE HAVE SEX IN A PILE OF MONEY? HAHAHA I WOULD DO IT. DO YOU ASK THEIR NET WORTH BEFORE YOU INVITE
THEM OVER? YES, WE GOOGLE IT. WE GOOGLE IT. BEFORE NETFLIX AND CHILL, DO YOU ASK THEIR
NETW ORTH. OF COURSE. YAH. IS IT IN YOUR TINDER BIO? I DON’T HAVE A TINDER. BUMBLE? NO. E-HARMONY? NO. CHRISTIAN MINGLE?
NO. NO ONE AT HARVARD HAS TINDER. MAYBE THEY ARE
ALL ON GRINDR. I DON’T REALLY KNOW. DO YOU HAVE TINDER? NO AND ARE YOU ON TINDER? NO. BUMBLE? IM NOT
ON ANY OF THEM OH, WHY NOT? UM, IM REALLY REALLY TRADITIONALIST? SO YOU WANT TO MEET THEM AT A PARK. READING
THE BIBLE. WITH A SMOOTHIE IN YOUR HAND. YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. ARE YOU ON TINDER? NO! WHY IS NO ONE ON TINDER?
NO ONE! OUR ROOMMATE IS ON TINDER. OUR ROOMMATE IS
ON TINDER. OK, AND DO YOU THINK SHE PUTS HARVARD UNIVERSITY IN HER BIO? YES! SHE ALSO WILL MATCH WITH PEOPLE BASED
ON WHERE THEY GO TO SCHOOL. IF YOU GO TO HARVARD LAW SCHOOL IM USUALLY
GOING TO SWIPE RIGHT ON YOU. IS IT TRUE THAT BURBERRY SHEETS ARE A THING
HERE? I HAVE NO CLUE. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR SHEETS? BED BATH AND
BEYOND. AWH, GIRL. ARE BURBERRY BED SHEETS A THING? I THINK SO. I WOULDN’T KNOW. WHERE ARE YOUR BED SHEETS FROM? TARGET. OH SHIT. WHICH FACULTY HAS THE MOST SEX? I MEAN WE
CAN COUNT OUT ENGINEERING, LET’S JUST PUT THAT ON THE SIDE, OK? IT’S NOT THE MATH
DEPARTMENT. PROBABLY FINANCE. YEAH! CAUSE THEY GOT TO GET THEIR CONNECTIONS SOMEHOW. I CAN TELL YOU WHO UH PROBABLY DOESN’T HAVE
A TON. THE MATH DEPARTMENT MOSTLY. I FEEL LIKE YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT THERE. DO YOU KNOW MUCH TUITION IS TO GO HERE? I
WOULD SAY $50 THOUSAND A YEAR. I THINK IT’S 50$ THOUSAND A SEMESTER. A SEMESTER?! OH,
NO KIDDING. TUTITION IS EXPENSIVE. OH REALLY? I DON’T
KNOW THE PRICE TO STUDY HERE. IT’S LIKE HALF A MILLION DOLLARS. OKAY, I WILL STAY
IN TAIWAN. THANK YOU! YEAH, I’LL STAY IN CANADA. BA-BYE! SO, $70 THOUSAND DOLLARS LET’S SAY, PER
YEAR, FOR FOUR YEARS. I’M NOT GOOD AT MATH BUT THAT’S LIKE HALF A MILLION DOLLARS,
AM I RIGHT? UM… ABOUT. I WON’T EVEN MAKE HALF A MILLION DOLLARS
TILL I AM THIRTY. I KNOW. SO HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO PAY IT OFF? SCHOLARSHIP GRANTS? YEAH, I GUESS SO, OR WE CAN ROB A BANK. WITH ROOM AND BOARD AND FOOD, SOMETHING LIKE
OVER $60 THOUSAND DOLLARS A YEAR. ARE YOU ON A SCHOLARSHIP? NO. *SIGHS* DO WE HAVE SNACK WE
CAN GIVE HER OR SOMETHING? OR LIKE A GIFT CARD THIS POOR GIRL. AND DATING SCENE’S GOOD HERE, YES OR NO? UH, I HAVE JUST BEEN DOING HOMEWORK. UH… IF YOU ARE DATING YOU ARE PROBABLY MARRIED. GIRLS DON’T REALLY LOOK AT ME, SO… DO
THEY LOOK AT YOU? NOT AS MUCH AS THEY LOOK AT TRUMAN. MAYBE IT’S THE SIDE BURNS? *LAUGHTER* UH…. NO. WELL, I’M GLAD I DIDN’T GO TO HARVARD. WELL, FOR MORMONS IT’S LIKE PRETTY CRAZY. BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO ONLY DATE MORMONS, CORRECT? NO, NO YOU DON’T. BUT MORMONS TEND
TO DATE… MORMONS. NOW, WHAT’S THE DATNG AT HARVARD SCENE LIKE? I WOULDN’T KNOW, I CAN’T TELL YOU. A LITTLE SNIP SNIP AT THE FRONT. SHAVE THE
SIDEBURNS. A NICE POLO. I LIKE YOUR GLASSES, THEY KIND OF LOOK LIKE TOM FORD. AND I GUARANTEE
YOU SIR, YOU WILL BE DATING BY NEXT WEEK. UH.. UH…AH .. IF YOU’RE LOOKING. THIS WAS YOUR FACE. UH…UH..UH.UHH. HERE’S THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT BOYS AT HARVARD. BEFORE HARVARD, THEY JUST HAD THEIR LIVES, THEIR LIFE WAS PERFECT. THEY GOT WHAT THEY
WANTED. SO THEN THEY GET HERE AND THE GIRLS WERE ALSO LIKE THAT SO GIRLS ALSO LIKED TO JUST HAVE FUN, YA KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING? SO THEN GUYS ARE LIKE “OH MY GOD, I AM HOT
SHIT. LET’S GET IT” WOULD YOU TRY TO FIND A HARVARD BOY? NO I
THINK THEY ARE BORING, IF WE GO OUT ON A DATE, THEY SAY “LET’S GO TO THE LIBRARY.” YEAH, THEY’D PROBABLY WANNA LIKE, YOU’D
BE HAVING SEX AND THEIR WOULD BE LIKE A DICTIONARY THERE. IF I WANT TO GO SHOPPING. “NO STAY
IN THE LIBRARY.” I HATE THE LIBRARY. THE LIBRARY ARE FOR TWO PEOPLE, BORING PEOPLE
AND UGLY PEOPLE. I DON’T HAVE TO SAY THAT! THE HOOK UP SCENE GOOD AT LEAST? CAUSE IF
YOU CAN GET IN THE BEDROOM YOU CAN AT LEAST START SOMETHING! MAYBE IF THEY HAVE MONEY
AROUND YOU CAN JUST GRAB A COUPLE THINGS. YEAH, FOR SURE. UM… IT’S A COLLEGE HOOK UP SCENE. SO,
IT’S KIND OF MESSY? IT’S MESSY…IT’S A NO. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A SPOUSE? KINDNESS. AND? MONEY. DO HARVARD ROWERS HAVE BIG PENISES? YES. IS
THIS FACT OR FICTION? FACT. I DON’T KNOW HOW HE KNEW, BUT I AM OKAY
THAT HE DID! SO I FOUND A COVETED HARVARD ROWER. IS IT
TRUE ALL THE THINGS IN THE MOVIES ABOUT HARVARD ROWERS? OH, UH, DEFINITELY NOT. THOSE ARE
A COMBINATION OF HEAVY WEIGHT ROWERS AND GUYS IN THE PRISCINLINE. HARVARD UNIVERSITY. WHERE’S THE NAME COME
FROM? JOHN HARVARD. AND WHO’S JOHN HAVRARD? A
DUDE. IT’S A GUY. I THINK JOHN IS HIS FIRST NAME. HE WAS JUST A RICH MAN THAT DONATED. DO YOU THINK HE WAS A NICE GUY? I WOULD HOPE SO. HE HAS A UNIVERSITY NAMED AFTER HIM. YEAH, BUT THERE’S A LOT OF STATUES OF OLD
WHITE MEN AND THEY’RE NOT THE GREATEST PEOPLE. I FEEL LIKE THE RESIDENCES HERE ARE NICE! UHHHH…. THERE’S LIKE RATS, AND MICE AND COCKROACHES. WE LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING
THAT JOHN. F. KENNEDY LIVED IN WHEN HE WENT HERE AND IT’S LIKE. YOU COULD POTENTIALLY
HAVE SEX WHERE JFK HAD SEX. HIS ROOM IS NOW THE ELEVATOR, SO TECHNICALLY YES. WHAT’S THE BIGGEST STEREOTYPE THAT SHOULD
NEVER EXIST? I’D SAY THAT YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE SOME SORT OF GENIUS. AND, I’M LIKE
FROM DURANT, OKLAHOMA. IM LIKE THE MOST AVERAGE PERSON ON THE PLANET. YOU’RE FROM WHERE? DURANT, OKLAHOMA. WHERE’S THAT? IT SOUNDS LIKE A SNACK. DO YOU THINK IT IS EMBARRASSING THAT LINDSAY
LOHAN WENT HERE? NO. NO? LINDSAY LOHAN WAS HERE IN FIRST YEAR AND NEVER
MADE IT TO SECOND. ARE YOU SERIOUS? NO. SHE DID? SADLY. OH. IM JUST KIDDING, COME
ON YOU GO TO HARVARD. WHAT ABOUT LINDSAY LOHAN? LINDSAY LOHAN! REMIND
WHO IS LINDSAY? SHE WENT TO REHAB A LONG TIME AGO, SHE WAS IN A MOVIE CALLED MEAN GIRLS. LINDSAY LOHAN WENT HERE WHICH IS KIND OF SAD.
DO YOU THINK HARVARD REGRETS THAT SHE WENT HERE? NO, WE LOVE LINDSAY. SHE IS ONE OF OUR FAVORITE
ALUMNI. HAVE YOU RUN INTO OBAMA’S DAUGHTER HERE? YEAH. I HAD ONLY SAW HER ONE TIME AT CVS. SHE WAS IN ACTUALLY ONE OF THE FRIDGES. SHE
WAS ACTUALLY LIKE ENTIRE BODY WAS IN THE FRIDGE. HAVE YOU SEEN HER AROUND YET? NO, BUT I KNOW
SHE LIVES LIKE TWO BLOCKS AWAY FROM ME. WELL, IF YOU EVER SEE HER, SAY CONNOR IS LOOKING
FOR HER AND WE WANNA ASK HER ABOUT HER NEW BOYFRIEND, BECAUSE APPARENTLY HE IS A RICH
BILLIONAIRE. YEAH, HIS NAME IS LIKE RORY FARQUHARSON OR SOMETHING. FARQUAH? POURQUOI-FARQUAH! WHEN YOU FIRST GOT INTO HARVARD, WHAT WAS
THAT MOMENT LIKE? I OPENED IT FIRST OUT OF ALL MY IVEY’S BECAUSE IT THOUGHT IT WAS
THE ONE I WAS GOING TO GET REJECTED FROM. I LOVE HOW YOU SAY “ALL MY IVEY’S.” DO THEY EMAIL YOU? OR DO THEY LIKE SEND A
PIGEON AND DELIVER IT TO YOU ON YOUR DOORSTEPS? HOW DOES THAT WORK? SO THEY SEND YOU THE PIGEON
AND THE EMAIL. BUT THE PIGEON COMES A LITTLE LATE, THAT’S WHY I WAS EXPECTING IT ON MONDAY. WHY HARVARD OUT OF ANY UNIVERSITY IN THE ENTIRE
WORLD? YOU COULD HAVE GONE TO BUFFALO UNIVERSITY, BUT YOU CHOSE HARVARD! I … I COULD HAVE
GONE TO BUFFALO UNIVERSITY, I’M KIND OF REGRETTING NOT GOING THERE. YOU DON’T THINK YOUR SMART? NO. MAYBE THAT’S
WHY YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HARVARD. THEY SAY IT’S MY DREAM BUT MAYBE FOR MY CHILDREN. FOR THOSE WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT HARVARD,
BUT WANNA GO TO STANFORD CAUSE IT’S A LITTLE WARMER. WHAT WOULD YOU TELL THEM? YOU ARE
RIGHT NEAR BOSTON! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! BOSTON! BOSTON! ARE YOU GETTING THE ACCENT DOWN WELL?
I CAN’T GET IT DOWN. I DON’T WANNA GET IT DOWN WELL. HONESTLY, IT IS THE MOST UNATTRACTIVE
ACCENT YOU COULD EVER WANT, IN ANY HUMAN BEING EVER. ARE THERE GAY PEOPLE AT HARVARD? I’VE PARTIED
WITH A LOT OF THEM. THEY ARE VERY FUN. HAVE PEOPLE TRIED TO EXPERIMENT WITH YOU? NOT YET. IT’LL COME. OCTOBER I’M THINKING IS THE PEAK TIME FOR THAT. HARVARD IS SO FANCY THEY HAVE PATAGONIA ATTIRE. ARE YOU A PART OF A TENNIS CLUB? YES. AWH, SHIT. RICH PEOPLE EVERYWHERE! DO YOU
HAVE A SUMMER HOME IN NANTUCKET? NO. DO YOU USE GOLDEN CONDOMS? I USE RAINBOW CONDOMS. DO PEOPLE ONLY PARTY WITH CIROC AND VEUVE
CLIQUOT? NOT, I DON’T THINK SO, I DON’T. YOU’RE GOING MORE SMIRNOFF, BUD LIGHT? YA
KNOW, JUICE. UM, AND DO YOU HAVE SEX IN A PILE OF MONEY? NOT YET. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOSTON AND CAMBRIDGE PEOPLE? BOSTON PEOPLE ARE COOLER. WHO’S CANADA’S PRIME MINISTER? JOHN! JA-TRUDEAU. TRUDADDY! TRUDADDY, DEFINITLEY! WOULD YOU PICK JUSTIN TRUDEAU OVER TRUMP? ABSA-FUCKING-LOUTLEY. I WOULD TO. WHY DIDN’T HILLARY WIN? TELL ME IN TWO WORDS. DIVISIVE POLITICS. YEAH, IDIOTS, IDIOTS IN MISSOURI. WHO IS CANADA’S PRIME MINISTER? I HAVE NO
IDEA. I’M NOT A GOV. MAJOR. YOU DON’T NEED TO BE. YOU JUST HAVE TO READ THE NEWS. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO LOOK INTO THE
CAMERA AND SAY TO YOUR MOM AND TO YOUR DAD? *LAUGHS* I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND IF THIS COMES OUT
BEFORE THIS WEEKEND, I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN IN NEW YORK. COOL. AND UNCLE, SEND HIM $18 DOLLARS
SO HE CAN GET A HAIRCUT. AND YOU PAID ALL THIS GODDAMN MONEY, WHAT
DO YOU WANT TO TELL YOUR PARENTS? WANT TO THANK THEM? SORRY THEY COULD NOT INVEST IN
THAT COTTAGE THEY ALWAYS WANTED? THANKS FOR BEING GREAT PARENTS AND MAKING SURE I WAS ON MY SHIT. WE HAVE A HARVARD ROWER HERE, SOON HIS NET
WORTH WILL BE $3 BILLION DOLLARS. WE ARE GOING TO START A GO FUND ME PAGE FOR
SOPHIA IN THE COMMENT SECTION BELOW. YOU CAN PITCH 20, 30 OR 100 DOLLARS! HOW OLD ARE YOU? 22! I’M 22! I GRADUATED.
WE ARE THE SAME AGE. IF YOU WERE AMERICAN I’D PROBABLY ASK TO MARRY YOU SO I DON’T
GET DEPORTED. BUT I WONT. THAT’S CREEPY… ALSO I’M GAY. SO THERE’S THAT. THANKS FOR WATCHING! AS WE’VE LEARNED, HARVARD
STUDENTS ARE VERY VERY RICH, AND I AM STILL VERY VERY POOR. BUT, I BOUGHT A HAT, SO WE
ARE HALF-WAY THERE. MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE BELOW AND I WILL CATCH YOU LATER! BYE GUYS!

57 thoughts on “Harvard University 2019: Sex, Mormons and Net Worth

  1. How's the Harvard dating scene? Have you spotted Malia Obama? Did you know Lindsay Lohan was a Harvard alumni?

    Thanks for watching!! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE.

  2. Connor!! This video is my favourite so far!! Reminds me of all those traditional Western TV interviews but with a bit of R rated kick. Love it!! Keep up the good work buddy!

  3. “Where’d you get your sheets?”
    “Bed Bath and Beyond”
    “Oh, girl…”

    These videos are amazing!!! Nobody deserves a semi scandalous talk show more than you. Love ya!!!

  4. So excited to see you doing this!!!! Miss you! Can’t wait to say I know you when your a famous tv host 😄

  5. Hello ! I post daily videos of amazing houses and travel locations in the world just to brighten up your day ! Check out my channel and show some love and show some 💗 .

  6. I was having issues with my spouse who was cheating on me while i taught i had him all to myself but luckily for me,i met an hacker called Mr meed,who helped me out. i spoke to him on phone and he helped me out within a couple of hours,i was seeing his message and also deleted conversation.i was glad that i got in touched with him.i can’t just keep this to myself anymore men are scum,get in touch with him also on WhatsApp to help you out,also and know what your husband is doing…This’s meed WhatsApp number +19096670695.

  7. Connor you are so fricken funny!! I’m a prospective BU student and saw the BU insta post about you. 20 min later, and I’m watching all your videos. I love you!!

  8. OOOOOOh my gawd i've watched this video and the USC video and I'm deceasedddd! I love your content and wittiness!

  9. AHHHH LMAOAOAOA MATTYCRAPS!!! I love this content. Connor makes everyone comfortable and he’s a really good host

  10. 2019 anyone?
    https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/threelly-ai-for-youtube/dfohlnjmjiipcppekkbhbabjbnikkibo

  11. Beware regarding Dalit
    Desh aur aanewali pidhi Lok tantra bachao
    Ram ne Shambhuk shudra ki hatya is karan ki karan vo ved aur dharshastra Ka adhyayan karta tha. Sarita Mukta Delhi Press ,E -3 Jhandewala,New Delhi-1. Padhen.
    https://youtu.be/vyQ8gjtU2qw
    Beware ..
    https://youtu.be/-ci8uIJpBK8
    It happens people don't know who is true God
    Bible mein Niti vachan padhe
    https://youtu.be/VcqRMAG3S5c
    Beware
    सबका मालिक प्रभु यीशु मसीह मृत्यु के बाद जीवित होकर बताया अब सबका न्याय करने आ रहे हैं सावधान पापों से मन फिरओ क्योंकि सब ने पाप किया है
    https://youtu.be/ax4DOikWGss
    यीशु आ रहे हैं
    https://youtu.be/vAufkb4dX4w
    MODI & SAARC COUNTRY MISSION…@illuminate
    https://youtu.be/D7Yk9mroWiU

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