MyNeighborJess and the Death Stranding Prologue

MyNeighborJess and the Death Stranding Prologue

Rated M for Mature Yo, it’s me Jess and I’m
Death Stranding. ROLL THE INTO! THEME SONG: MyNeighborJess and he likes to play games! MyNeighborJess, You Saved My Life! I’m really excited about Death Stranding right
now for a whole bunch of reasons. Is it because it’s kicking off the very first
episode of MyNeighborJess, You Saved My Life? Yes. Is it because it’s the latest game from Hideo Kojima the creator behind
the Metal Gear Solid series, the mysterious PT demo and my favorite Sega
CD game of all time, Snatcher? You bet. Is it because it’s filled to the brim with
sci-fi and horror, but the scariest thing about it is all the highly illegal and
highly unethical back-breaking manual labor that’ll probably lead to nothing
but minimum wage? Maybe, a little bit. But the thing about Death Stranding that I’m most excited about is it gives me a reason to do dumb stuff like this! “Hey, you got that new Death Stranding, dawg?” “Yeah, fool, it’s got everybody in it! It’s
got Walking Dead, new Silence of the Lambs It’s got Blue Lesbian Leftovers, Bionic Woman, Ryan Gosling’s Best Friend it’s got Black Mask, Gold Mask, and Guilermo Del Toro.” “Damn, bro, that’s all bad ass!” Ugh, whatever. Anyways
let’s check out the Prologue Chapter of Death Stranding with me behind the wheel. ROLL THE GAME FOOTAGE! “Once there was an explosion” Mmm. “A bang which gave birth to time and space.” All right. “And then came the next explosion.” Ahhh, a taste explosion. I know this is two screens but
it’s very pretty looking, pretty gorgeous. Mmhmm. *high pitched fart* Nice shades, dawg. I go where the wind takes me. And the wind takes me to Popeye’s. Chicken sandwich, here I come. Oh, no, not the ecosystem. Yeah, should have used Dove. Oh, here we go. Gonna jump Springfield gorge. There it is, straight up, Springfield
gorge. Hell yeah. Ooooh. Ah, no, no, no, no, come on!
Exactly Yeah, sucks to be you. Oh, here we go. Man, this looks this looks
really nice. Don’t fall down the cliff like a schmuck. There we go. Uhhhh, all right. Hell yeah. Oh, you gotta hold that shit? Here we go. All right, here we go. Then you go hand it back, all right. We’re backpacking. Ooh, it shows the topography. Uhhhhhhhhh You got jump. Yeah, hell yeah, press X to jump. Whoa, easy, pal. Grab that shit, put in my backpack. Hell yeah. Yeah, climb, son. Whoa. I can’t “Link” it up there. Maybe I’m being a little too ambitious on this climb. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, dooooo, here we go. Whoa, whoa, here we go! I got Central Knot, oooh. But I wouldn’t want to. Sam. That dear is checking him out. As am I. It’s my
favorite picture. It’d be a shame if I lost it. Oh, the controller is shaking. Means something’s up. He’s getting gersebermps. He’s getting gersebermps real bad. Really bad gersebermps. Let the chicken skin flow. York Peppermint Patty. Taste the sensation. Oh, hello? Uh, my photo. Yeah, Handprints in the
Sand is my favorite Christian metal band. They grow grass. I smoke grass. Shhhhh. A Quiet Place. She brought a friend. It’s like Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo. And I’m all about this WWF Legion of Doom jacket. It’s pretty sweet. Dooooooood. Oh, no, not the deer. It just straight-up
crop dusted them. Hey, yo, y’all don’t got any Flamin’ Hot Funyuns? Aiight den. You know what? Fuck that. I’m going this way. Dude, it beefed. Cry-yyyy-ing. This remind you of Jesus? Reminds
me of Jesus. Porter. House Steak. Rated R. Yeah, fuck all y’all. Grab me, daddy, grab me. They have pills for that. You got DOOMS. Fra-gee-lee. Fra-geee-leee. I BUILT THIS IN A CAVE, MAN! Oh, he delivers alright. He delivers the goods. Oh, delicious. Tardigrade? Delicious. Cryptobites come in all kinds of flavors. Barbecue. Ranch. Sour cream and onion. Nacho Cheese. And, uhhhh, Zatarains. They’re fucking
gross. You can use some Palmolive on that. In 30 minutes or less. They call me the postman ’cause I bang your mom. Mary Poppins Reloaded Don’t ask questions about that photo it’s my photo. Less questions asked, the better. All right, I’ll tell you all about it. We were at a Shoney’s breakfast buffet and… Puffer fish. She smelled like Pert Plus. I like Pert Plus. Prologue Porter. Smug delivery. Scanning,
scanning, ooh. There you go. The red bar is blood gauge, blue bar is
stamina gauge, blah blah blah. Let go of the stick, he drops the bag. Hold the stick, he holds it. Alright let’s roll. Book it, dude. I don’t want to make him eat shit while
there’s nice song is coming on, but it’s probably gonna happen. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When the gauge fully depletes, he can’t bear his load. I know the feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, grab some smart drugs. Everyone’s calling this “mountain
climbing simulator” but I think this is like “grocery bag holding” simulator. The pride of having all the groceries in
your hand in one trip, one load. That burst of adrenaline you get when you succeed is done very well in this game Book it, book it, book it, book it, book it. Hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut hut. Whatever you do, don’t fall down the
fucking waterfall. Uhhh! Oh shit! Paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle,
paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle! Looks like a schmuck. All right, here we go. “Stop running.” “Start running.” “Stop running.” Runnnnnn! All right here we go. Climbing up some rocks. Climb, climb, climb. Yes, yes, yes. Ooh, give me that! Give me that big package. I’m approaching my weight
limit. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Activating terminal. Sha-shing! Make delivery. Uhhh, sure? The whole plate. Sha-shing. Yeah. Good Sam-eritan. Yeah, drop a
load. *Snake voice* Kept you waiting, huh? Eh, I lost my bike, man. Yeah, fuck yeah, you will. sweet Jean Jean Jean
okay 28 likes no 120 these are better than numbers am i normal like posts ooh
awesome s for awesome delivering is what I do different ways what I do
yeah yeah yeah yeah sure okay yes sweet ride bro drop it like it’s hot church’s server riches yeah I’ll take a
ride with the incinerator shit Google draw how long since he flatlined 40
hours smells great 19 not sick this is suicide that’s all the flavors mix bro
we’re just lucky we found them at all got him on ice they said but who knows
when he’ll go neck hey never go fool necro we can do this we just need
someone like you with dooms fruit of the dooms I can feel it : in the year denied
oh well he’s already in the first stages of necrosis if we don’t hurry this place
is a crater so how about it can we count on you yeah yeah and I can’t spot
Petey’s just sends him that’s why we came prepared a bridge baby huh just
like the one in my picture book it’s helping you will be able to stay one
step ahead of them if you feel like shit every time you’re plugging into the
other side I’m just as God made me sir roll out roll out roll out earth to roll
out rainbow just a rainbow in the dark yeah how much further to the incinerator
this guy’s about to pop oh shit we’re up the cuts of the BT’s I’ll do my hair towels check my nails
baby how you doing girl shit so happens when you don’t keep your eyes on the
road don’t text and drive dog trucks busted drivers busted legs busted porter
pants now that’s a car your dick bro yeah like the rain ages you or something
makes you over oh shit here we go again no yes thumbs up now well shit seven just oh that’s awesome yeah give me that jelly leg rule they
can taste the goodness fuck up we’ll try the best yeah metal yeah my Lunchables and I can’t forgive
that sorry not sorry oh hello
oh you like Castlevania don’t you piss baby activate
whee he tried he tried his best nice dong bro nice dog here here it is crying baby scene we’ve
been seeing for a while here this is Trainspotting bro break me off a
piece I get it like fish SeaWorld is bad free Shamu alright I get it from in case you forgot you’ve been watching
death’s drinking release the pork cracklings Oh oh yeah I forgot I was playing yeah hey
rip rip a tree and I can return to life will follow this scene where the strand
goes all right I’ll move s can it yeah follow the Strand dog a baby good god this yeah
are they germ again uh got bubble gut yeah Carl’s jr. am i right no yeah
busted my baby it is said you can cry if you want to you cuz it said delicious
salty man tears drink them all down once there was an explosion a bang which gave
rise to life as we know it and the skull music was born and then came the next
explosion uh hey pop Katinas peace rolls an explosion that will be our last so
what do you think me I’m on the third chapter and so far so good I think the
presentation and the graphics are gorgeous I love the sound design I love
the music design and looks great sounds great I think the story is really
engaging I think Norman Reedus and the cast are doing a great job it’s pulling
me in so it’s off to a great start so far so good I really like how it starts
it’s super chill to play and it’s super chill to explore and then the survival
horror elements creep and when the Beatty show up the BTS are the invisible
monsters and it becomes like a stealth horror game and I really like that
aspect of it it’s really fun when you bump it to the human enemies it’s okay
you get a little fisticuffs you can stealth around um it’s alright but the
stuff I really like is the bTW scenes and also just planning out your route on
the map to make your deliveries is really rewarding I like to let stuff all
in all pretty slick but I totally get how this isn’t gonna be everyone’s bag
it’s a kijima game and his games are just known for having long drawn-out
cutscenes and tons of exposition before the actual gameplay kicks in and well I
think the way that the story unfolds is more streamlined and modern and dust
stranding than it is in the old Metal Gear Solid games and it seemingly has
less dialogue than those older games you do still sit around watching instead of
playing at certain points of time which I don’t mind because I think the
story segments are really good so I can totally see someone coming up to me and
being like well Jess you didn’t do anything you picked up a box you put the
box on your backpack you walked up a hill you drop the boxes you pick the
boxes back up again you fell in some water you picked up some more boxes then
you walked over to a metal shed you put the boxes onto a shelf and I think a
french chick ate a worm and that’s it and I’d be like oh yeah and it was
badass right right well okay how about this let’s go to a word from our sponsor
and maybe that’ll help change your mind I promise well first off AG I guess we
drink of that nectar crack another one open brother monster get you going
monster boner King monster fuck yeah yeah anyways thank you so much for
checking out the prologue chapter of death stranding with me on the very
first episode of my neighbor Jess you saved my life please leave some comments
down below I can’t wait to see your feedback on the show and while you’re
here be sure to watch other films and sketches and podcast previews from me
and my friends at Commedia agogo I can’t wait to hang out again play some more
games and it’s like Beyonce said if you like it you should have put a subscribe
on it to peace

7 thoughts on “MyNeighborJess and the Death Stranding Prologue

  1. Absolutely great video. I love the mixture of feels from MST3K style lampooning of the game, as well as giving an honest opinion of it. Also, the Southsider's cast introduction is classic CAGG. Great job, Jess! Looking forward to more of this series, and you may have pushed me over the edge to want to get death stranding…even if I still have no idea exactly what's going on in the game. But like you said, it's Kojima. lol

  2. Shoney's Breakfast Buffet reference! Classic Jess.
    She smelled like Pert +.
    He smelled like Didney +, 'cause he's taking her to Didneyland, as in "Didn't he say he was paying?"
    Yeah. He, most definitely, put that on PLaya-way.
    Sup, Homes?

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